


Goldilocks The Brave

by Rubynye



Category: Fairy Tales and Related Fandoms, Lord of the Rings (2001 2002 2003)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fairy Tale, Gen, Multi, Threesome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-09
Updated: 2010-01-09
Packaged: 2017-10-06 01:28:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/48237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rubynye/pseuds/Rubynye
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Goldilocks Gamgee cuts her hair and hears a tale of her namesake.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Goldilocks The Brave

**Author's Note:**

> This is my entry to [](http://karadin.livejournal.com/profile)[**karadin**](http://karadin.livejournal.com/)'s [Fairy Tale Challenge](http://karadin.com/fairytalechallengehome.html) (at least unless I figure out an erotic gloss on 'Hansel and Gretel' or somesuch). It's also a Pretty Good Year tribute, or somesuch, being as that it's an AU where Frodo didn't sail West.
> 
> Without further ado, I present you the tale of Goldilocks the Brave!

Sam sighed in his sleep, rolling over to wrap his arm around Rosie's waist; she sighed, too, with happiness, snuggling into four warm arms, her head tucked beneath Frodo's chin. She was awake, as her two lads were not, but Bag End was quiet, and the morning was peaceful and new, and the day could wait just a bit longer---

A screeching broke out at that very moment, and all three of them jumped, Frodo sitting bolt upright. It didn't sound like Ruby the baby; in fact, it was resolving into a girl's voice, Goldilocks' voice, and into words, and it was coming nearer.

Rosie sighed. So much for quiet. "Shut _up_!" she heard an older girl hiss. It sounded like Elanor, but Rosie wasn't sure; the racket from Goldi was unabated. "Let go of me! I hate it! Why did you stop me! Let go! Let go!"

"Good morning," said Frodo wryly, just before the door crashed open, revealing Elanor, hair in two ties for sleep, dragging a screaming, red-faced Goldilocks, who had a hank of golden curls clutched in one hand and a wide, unevenly shorn patch on her head. "Oh, Goldi!" Rosie gasped. "What---"

"She did it to herself, Mam," said Elanor grimly, panting as she hauled her struggling sister to her parents' bedside. "Rose-lass and I woke this morning and there she was with the scissors!" Rose-lass, coming up behind them, nodded, but whatever she said was lost in Goldilocks' scream of, "I hate my hair! I hate it!"

Sam sighed and said, "Rose-lass, shut the door." She obeyed, shoving Merry and Hamfast back into the hallway as she did so, while Sam got up to kneel before his daughters; Elanor released Goldi, who threw herself into her father's arms and burst into tears. "I hate my hair," Goldilocks sobbed into his shoulder, while Elanor dropped into a chair, wiping her hands on her nightshirt with a disgusted expression. Rose-lass shrugged and sat at her feet, and Elanor patted her shoulder gratefully.

Rosie and Frodo looked at each other, and at the sobbing child in Sam's arms. "Why do you hate your hair?" Sam asked gently, and after a few more sobs Goldi managed to say, "it's all anyone ever sees. It's all anyone ever likes. It's what I was named after! Why did you name me after my hair, Da? I hate it!" Rose-lass sighed unsympathetically at this outburst, but Elanor was leaning her hand on her head and looking wistful.

"Come now, Goldilocks. You were born bald as an egg!" Sam smiled reassuringly at Goldi when she raised her head from his shoulder. Rosie looked at Frodo again; they had named Goldilocks as they had, despite her baldness at birth, because Frodo had held her and looked into the distance and told them how she would grow, with a mane of golden curls and bright snapping blue eyes. He shrugged now for reply, and she sighed and got up to get a handkerchief for Sam.

Sam was still talking, rubbing Goldilocks' back gently. "In fact, Goldi, we named you for a, a mighty huntress, Goldilocks of the Stout Sword." Sam glanced up at Frodo as he said this, who looked puzzled, then smiled. "Yes, indeed we did," Frodo said, taking up the thread of the story as Sam wiped Goldi's face and got up to sit on the bed, holding her on his lap. Providentially, this was when another child banged on the door, distracting everyone for long enough that Frodo could close his eyes and quickly think of a tale; Rose-lass got up to answer it with "go back to bed, Mam and Da and Fro are seeing to it," then sat against the door to prevent its being opened again until the tale was done.

Rosie threw the handkerchief in the hamper and walked over to kiss Rose-lass atop her head. "Thank you, my dear, and you, Elanor. You're being very helpful." Both older girls smiled at her, even though Elanor merely said, "I didn't want her bald again."

Then Frodo cleared his throat, and all eyes turned to him. "Once, there was a mighty huntress named Goldilocks. She was just a lass, but she was very brave indeed, and she had gone away one bright spring day to visit friends. When she came home the next morning she found the door off its hinges, lying flat in the garden, and the doorway was dark, and when she called out for her family no one answered."

Goldilocks, eyes wide, put her fists up to her mouth, and even the two older girls looked rapt; Rosie smiled at her family, and Frodo caught her eyes and smiled at her, before he took a deep breath and continued. "Still, as I said, she was very brave indeed, and she walked right in, though she found things smashed and bashed left and right. Wondering who could have done all this, and where they were so she might pay them back, she came into the dining-room, and found three bowls of porridge sitting on the table, just as her Mam would have set out of a morning.

"Now, Goldilocks was a bit hungry, and she knew that she would need her strength to deal with whomever had smashed and bashed up her family's smial, so she picked up a spoon and tasted the porridge. The first bowl was far too hot; the second bowl was too cold. However, the third bowl was just right, so Goldilocks ate it up.

"Then she kept looking around the smial, calling for her family. No Mam, no Da, no little sister, just broken things everywhere. Finally, disheartened, Goldilocks went to sit down in the parlor and think and perhaps have a cry. The largest chair was missing its pillow, and was too hard; the middle chair was piled with shredded blankets, and was too soft. When Goldilocks sat in her favorite chair, the one that was just right, it broke apart! She jumped up, and saw that it had been kicked and hacked!

"That made Goldilocks very angry, and she went to the bedrooms in the back, to find her Da's sword, where he had hung it up with his armor, since coming home from the War." Sam and Frodo glanced at each other at that, and Rosie watched them twine hands as Frodo continued. "Holding it, she felt better; she sat down on her parents' bed, but it was too hard, and her little sister's bed was too soft, but hers felt right. Just as she sat on it, she heard voices at the door, and so she got into the bed, hiding the sword under the covers, and who do you think it was?"

Goldi shook her head, fists still clutched to her mouth. "Ruffians?" asked Rose-lass, and Frodo nodded at her. "Ruffians indeed, three great brutes, and they immediately saw that someone had been there, eating the porridge and sitting in the chairs. They wanted the smial for their own, so they went looking all together to see who it might be. Goldilocks waited as they came closer and closer, until they saw her in the bed and said, 'it's just a little hobbit lass!' and laughed their wicked laugh, and reached out their cruel fingers to grasp her, and then she---" Here Frodo paused, and Rosie realized her own heart was pounding, and nearly laughed at herself; she held quiet, listening to her three daughters holding their breath, waiting tensely.

"Why, she jumped up!" At that Goldilocks screamed, thrilled; Rose-lass screamed, too, then looked behind her as if someone else were sitting there. "She jumped up, and swung her father's sword right before their faces, nearly taking off the nose of the biggest ruffian, and shouted, 'get out of my home now!' All her golden hair stood up around her in her fury, making her look as big as anything. The ruffians jumped back, and cried, and ran, tumbling over each other, ran clear out of the house and the village and the Shire.

"Then Goldilocks heard, 'is that you, our Goldi?' and out of a closet came her Da and her Mam and her little sister, where they had hidden when the ruffians broke into their home. Goldilocks laughed and cried and hugged them, and gave her Da his sword, and helped her Mam and Da clean everything up and set everything to rights, till the smial looked even more beautiful than before, and all the ruffians heard of brave Goldilocks, and never troubled the hobbits again."

"Hurragh!" Goldilocks bounced on Sam's lap, clapping; with a touch more decorum and broad smiles on their faces, Elanor and Rose-lass applauded Frodo as well, and Rosie smiled and leaned over to kiss his cheek. He smiled at her, and then smiled at Sam, and then leaned forward to take Goldi's hand. "And so, because she was so valiant, we named you for her, our Goldi. So, you see, you should be proud of your name, and of your hair." Goldi nodded solemnly, and reached up to her hair, and looked as if she might cry again; to reassure her, Rosie said, "don't worry, sweeting, after first breakfast your Da will make your hair look nice for you." Sam gave her a doubtful look, and Rosie resisted a giggle.

"Breakfast would be good," Rose-lass agreed, getting to her feet. "We set porridge to cook by the fire overnight, didn't we?"

"Fittingly so," Frodo agreed, getting up out of bed. Goldi promptly stood on the bed, arms out, so that he had to pick her up. "Thank you for my story, Fro," she said, arms round his neck, and he smiled. "You're welcome, Goldi. You won't do this to your hair again, right?"

"Never," she agreed, and he kissed her brow; Sam draped his arm round Frodo's shoulders and kissed Goldi as well, and Rosie watched them walk out together into the Bag End morning.


End file.
